currently day-dreaming ! Ehh, today went to Delifrance fr breakfast den went off to shop for stuff wif my mum. actually nth much la; just crapping around. she bought her stuff and bought me a pair of shorts loh; aiya cheap cheap de la…hmmm, she saw this skirt. colour nice, pattern not bad…except it’s like below knee. I’ll look so toot toot in it man. Den she say my skirts are all so short, refuse to buy above knee de for me.
So i was like whatever loh. She don’t buy den dun buy la. Not as if i so hard up nothing to do must go beg her for skirts or clothing. dun buy den suan4 ler bah. Den she say i raise my voice at her, gif her de attitude like friend friend liddat.
Really don’t get parents luhh. It’s like last time she say treat her both like a good fren and a understanding parent and talk to her like one. Now she ask me dun treat her like a fren. WATEVER blehhs. Not hard up for ANYTHING la. Not as if i very rich liddat can afford everything under the sun. Gosh.
Ehh went hm to pack fr my chalet. My bag is like (i using my skul bag, the blue zinc de…) SO small la. I nid to bring so many things. Some more nid to go to skul during the whole week. U haf any idea how much there is to bring?? OMG la, it’s duo1 daoooo…
still say need 6 shirts, 4 bottoms…a lot leh…i’ve got no bigger (and nice looking) bag luhh. And my skul shoes ? Put where? Dots, no space. pekcekk i think i bring my luggage bag wheel there la hahas. so cartoon.
So siann luhhs. dun feel like doing anyth besides sleeping.
mega excited bout de chalet though. good chance to bond widd each other hey?
but really hope nth bad will go wrong during the chalet loh. I’ll hate it if something bad happens. CAN’T WAIT hahas ((:
nvm since i got absolutely nth to do now, post a bunch of songs i’m currently addicted to now hehes.

G.N.O (Girls’ Night Out)- Miley Cyrus
One In A Million- Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana
She Wants It (Ayo Technology)- 50 cent ft. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Stronger- Kanye West (WHEES, mega LOVES:)
Hate That I Love You- Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo
Don’t Stop The Music- Rihanna
Clumsy- Fergie
S.O.S- Jonas Brothers (Much LOVES fr this too:)
G-Slide- Lil Mama
Shadow Of The Day- Linkin Park
Misery Business- Paramore

Hahas i listen de is people dun listen de songs. WHEEES; CHALET ! Smuacks! hahas.
**Next 3 days…wun log on9…CHALET muchmuch LOVES. xoxo **

"and i thought u meant forever and ever when u said that.
                        && wherever u wna go, i’ll go    "

HATES - HYPOCRITES !! SHOO && GET LOST !
           - people hu stick to others like super glue when they want to get smth good out of them. ewws get a life?

CHEERS to TING deardearx for getting rid of that bitch ehh. hope she dont do anyth desperate to want to cling on to anybody. hate THAT. Ask her to GET A LIFE yeah? Don’t act like she owns everyth la. WAKE UP la, see how many ppl hate u so much? SHOO! but mega loads of lurve to TING‘.
**cool i manage to kill half an hr…

CHALET; here i COME ((:

awww, i slept at like 3.30am yest. chatted widd deardear ting all th way (almost) luhh. lols, spent at least 1hr finishing the dreamgirls i rented. Lame show actually but i like beyonce’. Ok bahh. Overdue by one day ler, ltr the uncle gonna come scold me. surprisingly woke up at 7 plus in the morning. CRAZEEE ehh? hahhs.
went to Hans for brunch. My chicken chop looked so…erh, ok la, don’t complain. actually it’s not bad ler, but i’ve ate better. the vanilla milkshake reminded me of the vanilla frappe i always ordered at NUH delifrance. LOL. Bro had two chocolate milkshakes. greedy pig.
Kana scolding frm my parents abt my results. shld’ve kept my big mouth shut. told them about other ppl’s results the top few like lingshan, shiqing and guang guang. kana la obviously. Dunno whether shld i pick E2 or E3 now lurrh.
Shiqing wna go same class as ME. So touched la. She putting E3 as second choice u kno omg. I wanted to try E3 as first choice though. think shiqing will get into E4 bahhx. Her results are so good…she’s the E5 material leh but she scared she go dere will become last few. Told her wun de but i tink she’ll still go wif E4 bahs.
Good la i guess. I respect her decision. Like that she’ll score for sure in E4. Wish her all th best !! Jiayouus jiemeiix !
So now how? what about me? Gosh, my parents wan me to take chinese lit but i dunwan leh. i wan eng lit ! Dumb la, eng lit get A1 dun wan take E.eng lit go suffer in E.Chi lit. So wasted liddat. dun care la, im going fr eng lit ah. xDD. So torn between art and F&N too but it’s obvious which i’ll pick. If i enter E3, i’ll add art as an extra subj. Mdm Lai said my art’s good so she’ll let me in if i go wakakas.
Went off to see my grandma again. As usual; she’s just there. it’s been…the 19th day in coma ler. SADDNESS :((
Hey guess what now then i found out…my big kor actually not NTU de is NUS. Chey, i was about to tell him that NTU a lot of ghosts he better watch out. LOL. I wna aim to go The University Of Western Australia. Got art, asian studies, Music, conservation Biology and loads others. Cool la. WHAT, i can dream right xDD? My mum kip telling me must haf a goal mah. Goal loh…go perth study hahas. america too far…perth only bout 4hrs40mins. been there so i ought to noe. UWA…hahas…i think i can slowly slowly dream ah…hahas…
Dad brought my bro to swim xDD. didn’t follow…sucked forever at swimming. plus if i go, no time to dry my swimsuit to bring along to the chalet; just.in.case ehh?
Awww i really can’t wait to go to th chalet. the feeling’s still there but i can’t be so bothered. Whatever that’s meant to happen will. Wna spend time wif my 2D mates hahas. Gonna miss this class cos there were so many memories. My classmates, my table…haiis.

-i hope you know. ‘cos we got some straightening out tuu" do.

i haven been blogging fr close to a week so be prepared! This post will be LONGGG!
TUESDAE :((
Saddness much? Dreaded the c.o session i had to attend. Gosh la. My darrs zhihui n shiqing went wif me even tho they didn’t haf to (so gan dong ehh). Went there i was actually quite happy, quite ok de loh. Plus my cher overseas nvr come. Even better.
No loh, my stupid SL. See ler oso SICK of him ah. Dun even wan to look both the 大只一点的大只 or the 小只一点的大只. People hu kno me shld kno wad i’m talking about yeah?
the 小只一点的大只 act like some big shot liddat command me arnd. Walao, he wan practice his prob la, wan mark me zero i oso dun really care ler loh. Sat there doing my ’sonka’ percussion thing den he just walk in ask whr is my cello. Den just take the bow liddat. First of all, it’s MY bow la. Second of all, natural human reaction is to ask why wad. den he could haf said, lend him use wad. MUST shoot me back de loh. Must sae u dun wan practice, other people wan practice wan hoh. WTF? His attitude to me is ALWAYS liddat wan la. FINE. He big la. NA bigger hoh? FINE, dun wan sae, later ppl think im discriminating him again.
After that i totally had a bad mood la. Brevian, jiaqing, zhihui and marcus came to comfort me loh. I rmb telling brev n zh dat if sm one frm the cello grp is to walk in, i think i’ll cry loh. Thinking of my grandma mah. And i really did la, when junsian came and call fr me. Wah, brevian was dere shouting at him man. Actually i think the others oso haf la but i only rmb brevian (hers was the loudest opps hehes).
OMG I LOVE U GUYS. really la. thnks so much tt day loh. if it’s just me, i think i wun live thru this c.o practice. Think i kana tortured to death by sm ppl i oso wun haf realised.
Cried on the same night fr one whole hr. wen my grandma & mum asked me why, i din answer them; At all.
WEDNESDAY :X
I dunno about my mood today. Weird? Hahas. Uhh had the zingo thing fr like 2 hrs today? Gosh, sit until my butt ache. Had some conflict wif my friend den liddat loh. Other than that, i lead a boring life.
THURSDAY
Had an A-maths selection test thing today.
Boringgg.
think i’ll fail again. No doubt la.
Didn’t slp well in th nite either. And i wonder why.
FRIDAY :X
Mixed feelings about today. Siann-ness.
nth much to be done today.
had some cleaning of the classroom thing.
junhong told me and shiqing we’ve both got co promotional performances frm MONDAY till FRIDAY fr the NXT 2 WEEKS. WTH?!
My chalet how???
Mdm teo everyday gonna pick us up loh. Den come back will haf to wait fr her to finish her chi lessons in skul. Gosh.
Part of my chalet $ is wasted. Got refund de mah? (JKJK)
Report card came back today. Hmms, liddat loh. Sucked at maths & sci as usual. Everytime take back report card no shock to me ler loh.
I second last oso take B4, only last postition nvr take b4 mah. hahas
no big deal. (still so buay chap attitude hoh?)
now too late to do anyth ler mah.
me, rachel, yingxuan and brev all think we gonna try E2 bahh.
(tho i really wish i can take A-maths ! me and shiqing went to th bkshop to see see look look today. Computer studies is like BORING la.)
Last day of skul. Im SO gonna miss everyone. Miss 2D classroom. Miss my seat loads too. Everybody’s gonna be split to, like, different classes. Goshh.
after skul went to mac widd shiqing. actually thought c.o gonna start at 2.30. HAH, at almost 1pm, marcus den sms me, sae start at 1pm. HAH.
Rushed back luhh wad else?
Den reached dere not long, come and tell me. HEY, CHANGED TO 2.30 LER LEH.
Oh wow, so cool. NOT.
went to pass my calculator to Pauline my dear senior. wished she could stay longer in cchy man…love her lurhhs. Chad was irritating. Ok la ok la, later he come say me. bugged me and kip poking me when i was talking to Pauline. Hahas, in the end he kana scolding. Den they both debating who i like best. Omg la. Liddat oso can.
In the end went to kek Chad la, sae i’m with Pauline de. Den she’s like ’see, see?’ hahas. wished dem both good luck fr their ‘O’s :))
We laffed in the c.o room about qimian after that. walao he same lvl position as me. Hmm, watever luhh. We laughed A LOT wif Qimian la. Shiqing kip saying him and his results den he rebutting back. me and april just sit there laff like nuts.
C.O was BORINGGG.
Qingyang sent me a SUPER-NICE, MEGA-GAN-DONG sms today. I mean, coming frm Qingyang it’s really AMAZING la.

I really thank u for the two years. u gave me the most support and encouragement. you’re the best female friend i had.

can’t wait fr chalet though. Hope it’d be FUNNN. Good bonding time wif frens ehh?
dunno why tho i kip getting this nagging feeling like there’ll be a fall-out between some frens loh.
Shiqing got the same kind of feeling too.
And i wonder why.

better make use of this time; before my dad comes and picks me up. Make this my last post lers hahas ((:
early morning baobeiix called me (which i, once again, failed to pick up). Hahas. She webcamed and speaker me (whatever it means). Gave me a history lesson, seriously, in which i lost her mid-way. Dunno where she talk until lers. But i rmb the yongyan and qixiang (Amos) thing hoh. Not bad ler haha consider i border-line pass hist de.
Watched youtube vids, crapped about and that’s my ‘fulfilling’ morning. Aww, one week without Disney Channel and HBO. Saddness ah. Nvm. Grandma hse got Channel 55, can watch my drama serial wakakas. And got MTV. Not so bad i guess.
Bringing my papa hippo and my big-headed tortoise down hehes.
EVRYBODY: Don’t bother to look for me on9 till FRIDAY worrs. MISSME:DD
Baobeiix: Thanks fr being thru thick, thin && all that whatever crap widd me yeah? The suspension, my grandma, ur T.I and the FOLLOW ME NATURE’S PATH Wild wild wet thing hahas. And so much more too. No wonder we’re so close. Both siao siao de hehhes. Yeah this year; not smooth at all lurhh. A lot of crap.
Watever happens we’ll go thru it tgt ehh? SMILEEES :DD

**Anything call my hp but u’ll haf to put up wif me. i 80% of the time is silent mode de. My mind oso silent mode la hoh. xDD.**

HEY; guess what tis is my SHORTEST post so far. Hehes. muchLOVES.

I LOVE YOU ((:
my darlings (esp, zhihui&&shiqing), my baobeiix (walao i mention so many times ler. If whoever dunno is…eh, im speechless), my qinaide (guesses?) && my deardear (TING: LOVEYA‘ SO MUCH).

♪♫ YOU GUYS ARE TH MUSIC IN ME ♪♫

I feel like i everytime write blog oso must thank so many ppl. GOOD MAH. Make others feel good i guess ehh ((:

**withLOVE;
(^_*)v ELAINE#27 x33

ehhs decided to be lame today and blog once more (since i won’t haf the oppourtunity to blog or go on9 fr the rest of the week yeah).
I dunno. it’s like 12AM ler. I’m still wide awake. Not really sure what i should do right now (Yeah, i know, go sleep; but besides sleep…).
I dunno. Sat here for quite some time. 10mins? 15? Maybe half an hour just staring at the ceiling and looking at the stars outside. It’s quite cooling tonight i guess. Just feeling very EMO right now.
I guess my life’s pretty screwed up. Remembered when i told myself that i want year 2007 to be a good one. One in which i can remember by. I even remembered who i told that sentence to. Hahas, quite dumb ehh? So naive to think things will actually be ok, seeing all the drama going on.
It’s like so much shit has happened this year. The suspension, falling out wif my friends, the SYF, my grandma most importantly: both good and bad times. Still, I’m not sure what i’m really doing and whether what i’ve done is actually right. Everything’s passing me by like a blurr. It’s like at first i remember doing New Year deco and here i am, 9 months older. Time just flies so fast.
I’ve definitely learned a lot about others though. Most of the times, i’ve sat in my room, bottled up my thoughts and hugging Chocolate (Thanks loads to ZH, Dunc and Ann. Still haven forgotten uu guys^^). Yeah, i’ve just kept quiet about a lot of things and the few ways i release my stress is by talking crap to people who would or wouldn’t listen (I don’t care) and by writing in my blog. LOL, one of these ways will not happen anymore :))
Heh listening to slow, soothing songs right now when normally, i would’ve prefered Fall Out Boy. I dunno. It’s like the only thing i can say now is ‘i dunno’ cos i really don’t know what to do next.
it’s like everyday i’m there, laughing, shouting, going crazy like nobody’s business and i’ve always liked to cheer people up. Isn’t it good, to see someone else be happy:DD? But who’s going to be there to cheer me up when i need it? I’m like, so confused right now so if u think this is crap, you don’t have to read it. Really.
It’s like i’m trying to i dunno, ‘impress’ people? I still haven’t told my parents about that dumb option form coming on Tuesday. If i were to tell my dad i wanted to do art and the fact that i HATE maths and science, he would’ve killed me. Yeah…that’s what happens. If i told them, i would just break their hearts and they’ll be so disappointed in me. Same goes for HCL. I only took it ‘cos my mum said so.

WHATEVER.

Kinda’ crying right now and i don’t know what’s gotten to me. Sometimes really admire all those people that look like they’ve got no worries at all. EG; my brother. he’s so lucky la. So smart. Got my grandfather’s love, not like me. So what i got all these things like the SYF Gold, prefect, watever de? People still love my bro more what. I try so hard for what? Who is there to impress?
LOL, feel like i’m not being appreciated. But then again, not many people will know how i feel luhh.
Opps, i think i’m so idiotic right now. Became so lame. Hey, lame makes people happy right? It’s my blog, my life and a free country. i can post what i want so long i don’t say anyth that makes the Singapore government mad.
Seriously feel so sick of all these. The only other person i really talk to is my maternal grandma, who’s seriously, like my forever BESTIE. I dunno what i would’ve done without her.
It’s like, there’s still so much stuff that people don’t know about me.
Why can’t things be more perfect and for people to stop lying to one another about who they really are ?
I think i’m really so emo right now. Feels quite empty inside all of a sudden. Dumb things just keep happening in my face. Shit mostly happens but it happens to me.
I’m not saying I’m not lucky or what. Yeah i’m very lucky compared to a lot of people. Just sad. A little. Maybe a lot. I Dunno.
Kinda’ feels something is so wrong with me (esp, like everytime i write my blog i must make it look like a thousand(s) word essay). They say you ought to learn how to love yourself before you can love someone.
Feel like i don’t really love myself. Maybe that’s the reason why i can’t learn to love somebody else other than my closest of kins and friends?
Hehe, really like that Reflections song. This song totally say a lot…

"Reflection"

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day
It’s as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that I’m
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There’s a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that I’m
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Did i like, post this song lyrics for the second time? Subconsciously feels like it. Hehe. Woots, it’s like 12:45 now.
WTH, i spent 45mins writing a stupid blog? Goodness.
What is wrong wif me luhh?
Starting to really despise the crazy me. Maybe i ought to be more serious in future ??
Oh, someone tell me what i should do now. Pls.